Humdrum home with the bricks of passion.

Humdrum home with the bricks of passion.

“mama said that it was okay

Mama said that it was quite alright

Our kind of people only had a bed for the night

And it was okay”

So family business heh! It is something my entire life has intertwined with. I really don’t know when was the exact time I understood we were “different”! But something inside me tells I knew it all along. The struggles I juggled through most of my teenage years were either by girls or my queer lifestyle.

My mom commenced our small retail business in our house way back in late 80’s with the budget of Rs.10, 000. Mean while my dad was doing his service in abroad. Couple years later he slid back into the famalia biz and there by our family business took a turn. From a small chocolate & chips shop my dad and mom successfully turned it in to an average retail grocery store. (which is now half way through the wholesale scale)

Then my mum got pregnant with the 2nd and last child a.k.a me. I had a wonderful childhood. My parents never enrolled me to daycare because they were home all the time. Speak about advantages heh! So, I spent most of my childhood with my mum, dad, elder sister or my cousins. I never really had to be explained why my mum and dad were always around me. It’s just the question that never actually struck me until my 2nd grade when we were told to draw our parents on official attire and I drew my dad on his joggers and sports shoes but that is what he wears literally every day to his work till this date . Or the time when I saw my friend’s parents both staying at house during only on specific “Saturdays!” I actually thought something was wrong later it stroked me we were “different” indeed.

The concept of 9-5 working hour and holiday a week was very hard to grasp initially. The daily choir in my house was really hard to explain as if an invisible routine of things floated around the air. I mean the communication was so less but each one of the adults knew exactly what to do just like they were doing some telepathy shit. But they always work their ass off for 16 hours.

So, here are the couple of stuffs you will likely to see at our work place under 16 hours:

• The day goes on with numerous customers with unusual requests (trust me they never fail to surprise in the worst way),
• Price fuss-ers, (tuna fish smelling housewives, find another store please!)
• Over spending cunts (the one who lets you keep the change with pitiful eyes) I am as ungrateful as an old twit. you prolly don’t know that but hey baboon, thanks for the tip, will have a burger for lunch today.
• Weird salespersons with weirdest products, (sleek talking ass snitch bitches)
• Regular P&G suppliers waiting for their pay check (some of them are mutha-fucking H-O-T, strictly only some),
• Redeeming customers ( some money on my palms, come on now flicka dat wrist ey ey ey),
• Tobacco chewing employees. (boyy, get a grip )
And at night my mum and dad would go through the paper works while I was tucked warmly on the bed with my mum’s fur coat and VAT’s a real deal ya’ll one wrong move and pay extra extra to government.

So, everyday is a battle field and I am not going to lie to you but things can get a lot more ugly.

Most people are usually terrified by the idea of the family business because they should be it kinda makes your family dysfunctional in the most functional way. You gotta be professional af! It is not that you just stayed in just because you had an argument or you had a common cold. YOU GOTTA WORK UNLESS SOMEONE DIES OR YOU ARE RUSHED TO THE ER. *sorry was a little overwhelmed*

Can we R.I.P the vacation please?  Vacation is a myth. . Guess what! our family went to vacation for entire 3 weeks to Eastern Nepal at the gap of 7 years and trust me! there was a good chance the vacation was not gonna happen, Thanks to the earthquake one of the contributing factors to close down business for a while. There is a whole another story what my crazy dysfunctional family did in the damn long ass drive.

Growing up in this environment I really loathed our lifestyle. After all we were actually a lot more different than others. My classmates were living in a whole alternate universe while I used to spend my time helping my mum and dad covered in sweat smelling like an onion (okay fine! Don’t look me with judgmental eyes a little exaggeration isn’t going to hurt anyone)!

Early Teen years were the hardest as I wasn’t coping along with this lifestyle. I would always fail to show up in my dates punctually, whenever I was invited into parties “Maybe I will stop by” was my go to word because I can’t be committed to that bish while I am already invested along side my parents.

It’s like having a girlfriend and keeping a side meat at the same time and boo that just ain’t me.

The high school boys aren’t always sweety pie either. They are fucking boars who just try to pick on the same really hurtful things. You know bragging about how they visited exotic lands and givin’ me a side look. *CLEARLY SCREAMING* “BET YOU HAVEN’T STEPPED YOUR FOOT OUTTA YOUR MOTHER’S WOMB NERDY” those middle high school days were the lowest and most loneliest. Friends do lag behind at relating when they only know the half story.

People say, “Staying with parents murders the idea of living a free life.” But for me family always do come first and I am not giving this some emotional I love my family chessy shit.

It is just that my ugly dysfunctional family composed with lazy, villains, drunkards and down to earth crazies just somehow perfectly define partnership, commitment, loyalty and honesty. That is the reason why this family strong despite of the ugliest internal conflicts and the bad mouthing which get trashier than ever! #noshameinthegame

We find ourselves a reason to stand by each other not only because we want to but we have to. This business is everything to us. it’s like the guy who burned all his ships to reach the new world. Everything is invested it has to work. No buts and no ifs.

I have been living a double life where I am teenaging and adulting for quite a while now. So, if this is the big conversation with me where I am honest about my lifestyle then I need to talk about the fact that my life dissatisfies me so much. After my farewell party my friends went to clubs for “after after parties” prolly till midnight but I returned home asap because we were running out of employees and trust me the work place was disaster. While my friends were probably getting drunk and laid I was there stalking their instagram once in a while! Incidents like these has become so many times that it almost feels like dejavuu now.

Growing around family business is different and anything but comfortable-imma-watch-netflix-now life but it always taught me the hard work that is put in to earn a penny. It is still teaching me other many invaluable lessons like “Conserve cash, stay in business”.

So, this is it! Life gets real ugly sometimes but all you gotta do is suck it up.

We are the humdrum home with the bricks made out of passion.

 “I know which place I’m from,
I know my home
When I’m in doubt and struggling
That’s where I go”



I can’t even spell “ADULTHOOD” Let alone living an actual adult life

I can’t even spell “ADULTHOOD” Let alone living an actual adult life

So, this is it! This is how it feels like when your age of innocence is over and you start marching towards being so called “fully fledged adult”. I almost feel like someone dosed me up with huge amount of ADHD medication and all I want is ESCAPE!! But where else can I go? Neither, there is a huge rock where I can crawl and hide under nor there is an invisibility cloak like in those Harry potter movies. This is how it feels like to be in a verge of fantasy and reality. I feel scared, confused………… lost!

Adulthood seemed like some treasure back then but according to the rule of universe as we get closer to things it gets uglier. When we see a beautiful white mountain we want to be there celebrate the beauty with it but as we start the journey towards it, the fast flowing river, slippery hills and muddy paths emerge becoming obstacles. Then a sudden ray of realization hits our cerebrum “adulthood sucks”. You may have thought your life as a straight pavement road but you won’t even realize when it turns into some pear shaped bewildering woods. You must have been crinkling your nose by now due to the negativity of this article! But I seriously thought adulthood was all about no instructions/restrictions and sex anytime you like! I didn’t quite realize the meaning of six syllables word “RESPONSIBILITY”. God the thought of being all by ourselves in this humongous world gives me chills. We have to literally take care of everything! And just the idea of drowning under jobs, actual money, health insurances, loans, and all those awful VAT & TAX paper works suffocates me.

I wonder how have been my parents and every single adult I know in the world have been surviving it. Now I feel like breaking and following set of rules is more fun than making one. Sometimes, I think of traveling away with some gypsy blokes setting off towards the sunset and than again I realize I can easily skip the responsibilities but there is a thing I can never ever skip. It is called TIME which will ultimately sneak up and bite my youth’s ass. During childhood I always had trouble understanding Peter Pan. Currently, I find myself being jealous of him because he found neverland! And I am never going to find it. No matter where I go, I won’t remain as I am today! Eventually I will suffer from aging leading myself to become old and dandy so there is no point on questing neverland.

I wanted to be an adult my entire life. Few years more and I will finally be an adult but I don’t think I want to be an adult anymore that makes me think DO WE HAVE A CHOICE? The answer is simply a big fat NO! Our life isn’t some dreadful series of TWILIGHT where everyone is vampire. No text books are going to help us being an adult in the safest way! They will only provide us guidelines as maps which won’t help us dealing with the obstacles. We won’t be able to deal with it until we face it. I don’t know the right way or wrong way to be an adult but I do know that it cannot be skipped like some school test. Sooner or Later this is going to happen to you, in fact to us. So, why don’t we prepare for those uncertainties right now? Why not to dream bigger? Why not to stop bragging about being a teenager? Why not to do something productive rather than high school gossips?

The sea of responsibility might be bigger and stronger than us. We need to let it all in and drown in order to swim and every single that we fight for will make us stronger. Hence, all I can say until we be become an actual adult is let’s make a mindset “We all are capable of doing anything we just need to BE IT, DO IT, MAKE IT!”