I know better at this point.I must, because I cannot go through all this. Not again. Not with you.
You are the high tides of clear blue water which never stays constant nor that it should. Otherwise that would be unnatural.
Yet somewhere inside me I have this slightest bit of tendency towards incase. Incase you notice the change, incase you want to break the natural, because I don’t have no guts to do it.
Lucky ones are only held more than just a friend.
I just happen to fall under the unlucky.
An unlucky who wishes you would just consider the million reasons I give you everyday to just acknowledge the incase, the alternative of being a still blue water; staying in, holding on, canoodling with the unlucky because months and months of back and forth just cuts more deep.
You see that is a rare case i.e. unlucky turning into the lucky ones.
A rare case that tears up my expectations, manipulates my decisions, makes me fall on my knees. A rare case that makes me an unlucky fool pondering over a smile, a touch hoping it meant more than it is supposed to. Most of all it is frustrating to see myself standing back where I always stood before.
It is like I have lost the ability of being mobile, lost the ability of being heard as my lungs are filled with water and my screams are muffled under water.
I know you are happy now with your lucky man and last thing you would want is me barging into the places where I am not expected.
So, I decide to stay out because I know you will refuse to stay in.
Your attention is all I want but not like this. I want us to cross that delicate line of friend zone but isn’t possible when you patch up suddenly with someone with whom you have a relationship younger as a minute.
Then it isn’t even your fault. How can you answer something I never asked?
Eventually, I will have to let it all go. But you are like my favorite wine stained shirt which can neither be seen going to waste nor can be worn.
This was my twisted love on the straight pathway built out of friendzone.