Why do I keep myself in delusion? Why am I letting you win over me?
I won’t deny the fact that you make me insanely happy even though you have constantly bruised me, tore me apart but at the end of the day I find myself standing by your side just for that one fleeting moment of ecstasy.
You say that your happiness is my happiness. But do I really believe in you? You always tend to be that optimistic ray of sunlight that can turn a deserted road into road side buffet party with two rainbows in the sky. You always manage to see the light that’s been trying so hard to be seen underneath all the darkness surrounds me.
So, you show me an open door; Put a band aid on my wound. Eventually, things just start to get a little bit better!
You slam the door on my face and the realization hits me hard that the band aid was never mine to stick with me.
It’s funny how people shatter our hopes and we shatter theirs in complete absence of our deepest consent. We all know the truth that it wasn’t done on purpose but the irony is, it hurts like it was.
Dear Hope, you are the work of exhaustion and I am just done with you. I have realized no matter how alone I am you just don’t care.
And Dear Hope, I really do hope that you won’t ask me to have faith because every time I do so I am dragged again back down to the point of zero. This crushes my heart by itself a little bit and I don’t how many pieces I have left.
So, I am not giving up on working on myself less lonely. It is something that I’ve always done and I will always do. But dear Hope don’t ask me to hold on to you because hope hurts and I don’t wanna hurt anymore.
“I’m giving it my all
But I’m not the guy you’re taking home
I keep dancing on my own”